Reality strikes.

Sup..... its been awhile since I posted.... I've just finished my 6th semester and next semester is Industrial Training.. or known as.. Internship. I've found my identity and self-branding in design. I've gotten closer to people I like; and, had all the opportunity I could get with that special someone. Though I've not been taking any of those opportunities... rather.. I just shun them away from me. Today I woke up from a dream that has "TOLD" me so hard... the first thing i did when i open my eyes was shout "F***, F***! , F***KING! F***K!". Yes I was extremely pissed at what my dream told me I could have done while I was that...

The train station that I waited at.

photo taken from here

Could have, Would have, Should have. Its all gone now. Though when another opportunity comes. I'm still not sure if I'll hesitate or I'll make my move. As the older I get.. falling in love with people happens even lesser... and letting it go is even harder...
--REALITY--
 That being said, let me explain to you that timeless Monday night when I was coming back from college done with my assignments and going to retire for the night. I accompanied her on the way back because its on the way home to my place anyway. That was the biggest opportunity I got so far. Just me, and her, sitting together in the train station.. just... waiting... for the train... no one was even on our platform.. it was already 10.30pm that time. So we just talked. Discussed about internship and further more. Train arrived; I just went it and waited for my stop. I felt a bit sad that she didn't join the same coach as me and went to the women's coach instead because it was already late. I felt a bit useless for not making her feeling secure enough and what not... But my stop came first so it was best she wasn't in this coach anyway. I got off, she just texted me goodbye and I texted back..
--DREAM--
So, this is was a rebuild of what could have happened that night in my dream. We were there.. talking..... my dream showed me...
I asked if I could hold her hand. I did. I talked to her seriously about what I really think about her. I wasn't even tensed... I was just relaxed... speaking like it was my last day of my life..  "Ya know.. my friend told me I am a "flower heart"(花心), because... in high school.. 1 moment I liked a girl.. the next moment I liked another, but this time its different... I've been looking at you for around 2 years already, of course there was some moment that some other girl was on my mind, but I came back immediately after that and just totally forgotten about her.. so far.. you're the only girl that's on my mind... I wish you could be my girlfriend.. and I wish to only be you on my mind... I've gotten to know more about you for over these two years.. and I only grew to like you, the more I know you every time"

so fuckin' naive, cheesy and stupid

andddddddd bam. I woke up and had FEELS and RAGE immediately.... sigh...... though I keep telling myself its just a dream.... but my heart thinks its not just a dream...

Livin' in a new place! Livin' in a new room! I finally have a room!

Hey guys, I'm just back after a long inactivity since December and before getting to the main part, I'm just going to update on what happened since I was gone. December was great. I had fun. It started out quite bad at first but then I just got on with in and put it behind me. I enjoyed my time with my bros at the reunion sleepover party and catch up with each other and get to know what we've all be doing currently. This semester break is the last I might have in JB so I took sometime to prepare myself for leaving, well.. for good. For now, I'll not be going back to JB for sometime but maybe when I have the time I'll drive myself back all the way to JB or take a bus down to meet some of my bros. Not all of us are in JB right now. Most of us are in KL but our buddies back in JB and also in UK still will be missed. Though we are on skype everyday, going out and hanging out means a big difference then just chatting on skype daily.

So, I left JB, me and my family did some packing because we're moving to a new place. I now just moved to the next taman in Subang. Life felt a bit easier since for the first time in years I've been properly taken care of financially by my parents. Now I know I've been sort of a bad kid living off my parents money, but I try to give back sometimes even though I'm lazy. I have to thank my parents for giving me my own room and all the stuff along with it, because for once I feel very comfortable at home for once. "Hey I have my own room finally! I can do my stuff in peace". Even my assignments ;).

This is my room with my PC and my own bed for once :)

"So, Yeah... I have my own room... finally... but somehow I don't feel as happy as expected but I'm.. mmmmm... sorta at ease now". Got a new PC for my Multimedia Freelance and for future to come.

Xeon, Sapphire 7850HD 2GB, Asus Board. ;)

I also got another thing new from my parents (thanks to them again). Finally! Ladies and gentlemen I have finally got my FIRST(yes first... orz) touchscreen phone.. and also its of the new age phone.. :D I put my K800i and my brothers Nokia XpressMusic into the archives now..

OWH YEAH!

This sem is abit adventurous.. I have subjects like 3D Animation, Web Design, Design Project Management and Production in Multimedia! So yeah all the heavy works are out this sem and time management is really essential this term.. and yet I still such at pro at procrastinating :/ boy this sucks.

So yeah thats all about it. I'm sorry if I'm being too showing off but there is literally.. nothing to put on here or talk about.. just the small changes in life.. but it means alot to me.. Thats all!

December is here!

 ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

December is here! 

Its the month of the year where I take a break from my studies and retreat back to my hometown and enjoy myself. Although this holiday is still cut a bit short because my family is prepared to move up into Selangor. This semester was a short sem like every end year in my college. It was rushed, but still we only had 3 subjects and I noticed I'm getting better in workflow. So I'm happy that I'm able to sort my workflow out.

D7AAX is out already but it hasn't reached Malaysia yet.

Gonna practice and research some videos in D5 for this sem break's D5 campaign. Feels abit boring now. I wished Jusco had the new D7AAX so I could also try it out. But it is very boring indeed. I've stored up "some" anime and games this holiday season just to keep myself occupied.

Well, thats it for this short sem.. it just came and went just like that. Next semester's gotta be even more tougher. I still can't do much on my own. Here is a link to my portfolio website. This is my final assignment for E-Publishing that shows all the previous works too. I'm a Multimedia Design Student. :)

Credit goes to this my friend who helped me find a new free music player. Check out his blog if you want. 

Hope you enjoy your December Holidays! Cheers!

Fed up

Ever had that moment where you're just sick and tired of the things that never change around you? I do.
I'm sick and tired of people giving excuses and saying that they'll make up for it. Even though they said that, they don't turn over a new leaf. They never do. Ever had people that just don't understand your situation? Well I guess a lot of us have. Before anyone is going to say "don't complain, other people have it worse", I say that everyone deserves a fair chance. Everyone deserves to be understood. Even you too, the person who think's this is nothing compared to the other people who had suffered more. You need to be understood. Well since that's said. I understand you. I know how you feel. :)

Moving on, this semester is a little unusual and creepy.. as if its too normal.. but I already know the time-frame is twice as short as a regular one. "Yes, this is a short sem! What am I doing sitting around?" which was what I said but our lecturer's not giving us any big assignments or exercises quick enough for us to pick up the pace with the amount of days we have left... which makes me worry. But there is nothing I can do. So why worry? I'll just solve it when it steps in front of me.. like I've always had.. but this time.. I know what to do.

Aaaah, Kara No Kyoukai feel is coming back.

Its that time of the year again.. its already October soon it'll be November and my semester will end.. Don't know why but whenever its December, KnK comes up again in my head.. talking about the cold outside at night under the night sky... of course.. in Johor Bahru.. Going to plan a meeting again this end of this year during December.. something like a "reunion" with the bros. The end of this year sure is coming fast. only 7 more weeks to go.

Updated my mixpod music with some of my favourite instrumental pieces.

Thats all for today ladies and gentlemen! :D

My Initial D Adventure while growing up!

TL;DR : From a young local racer to a regional racer ( this is kinda like a blog story so ignore if you want).
Initial D made me enjoy arcade games and have experience that I can't get with normal computer games. and. EUROBEAT. Also my unconditional love for the Trueno 

Well it all started when i was just grade 6 (12 years old)2005 in a backwater town in Malaysia where my mall had D3(Arcade Stage). that time D4 wasn't even out yet. So i went there every weekend.. listening to the pros who'd come and play there and trying to imitate them. I had no internet and no what so ever source to learn D3 from. so I learned all the advanced stuff from the pros there.. and then, the story of me a young kid just beating local rookie driver began.. lol.. so as every other usual initial d arcade player. I have my friends. I wasn't the best around.. I always had someone in my team which was better than me.. and of course.. younger than me.. lol.. imagine a smaller kid than a kid which is better.. damn.. so we had fun.. I traded cards back then.. selling my old cars and buying new ones... so i had a fair amount of experiences with all D3 cars.. lol then the end of grade 6 came.. it was the holidays...my dad awarded me with a ps2 for getting good results that time.. and then I discovered SPECIAL STAGE. That was when I just stayed away from the arcade and practice at home.. surprisingly the game physics of Special Stage(D2) was similar to (D3) so i had a huge performance increase while i was gone. The usual continued, practicing at home and going to the arcade to port my console skills to the wheel.

-somewhere in between 12-15-
I often go to the "big city" of my country where my brother works and stays during the holiday. That was when I watched all stage 1-4 on DVD at home. It was fun and I made my D4 card while staying there. it made me had interest in eurobeat alot.
-end of somewhere between 12-15-

Then I left, when i was form 3(highschool 15 years old) from the a northern backwater place to the south of Malaysia. A less "backwater" place than the north because it was modernizing. So my local mall there had D4. I played D4 without knowing the techniques and all (I can say that D4 was my shittiest gameplay ever)I had no friends here back then when I was a new transfer student. so I normally hang around at home and play D4 on weekends. and then (16 years old) I found no more interest in this. I stopped for nearly 2 years. Since I discovered, yes this is stupid. THE INTERNET. I finally have a PC with internet at home when i was 15 so I spent more of my time on the internet rather than playing Initial D.

-1 year later-
at the end of Form 5 (17 years old)2010,After my final year of highschool with my exams, a week later. While freely strolling around the mall, bored, looking for something to do, I saw D5. I quickly made a card and played a few rounds. (I had alot of cash stocked up in my wallet back then because I was spending on nothing for 2 years while living on the freedom of the internet lol). Then I went home and researched a ton of videos on YouTube about D5.. and then i discovered this forum! although i joined later in 2011.. So while on holiday break for months. I went to the arcade and practice occasionally. My skills were still below average back then. I only hit like 3'16-3'17 on Akina DH Dry instead of 3'08'xxx now. and that I consider as still below average.

YEAR 2011!
I had some months before my results for my exam come out and then I can go off into college. So while waiting. I wasted my days continuing D5 without improvement..  and then off i went to college when results came out.I joined the forum. met alot of players.. asked alot of questions.. gain more knowledge about arcade stage series.. but I didn't know actual racing knowledge could be applied to a game. well with all that racing line and braking point and all that. D6 was awesome to play while living in the big city during college. But I kinda hated it at first.

I came back during december and I trained my ass off in D5 to get into the records. and well.. I succeeded! Not to mention having alot of in-store battles with players there. Thus, the legend of the young old me deceiving players into thinking a kid can't be this good was reborn again..  (no bragging just saying)

2012
and well i still go back to that place i shifted too when i was 15 and still play D5 and continue to train there every holiday. Its a great thing because I get to disappear and come back once in awhile again. So people tend to forget who I am 

Life through semester four.

Living life as normal as it could be. Well at least that's how I think I should live. Living through every week of this sem with the same schedule. Also there is bound to be 1 sleepless night or 2 every week. and its becoming normal.. well its due to me treating my assignments as last minute work. Stupid me.

Yep. that's kinda how life is at the moment. Not to mention eating burger for lunch everyday.
God knows whats going to happen to my kidneys or liver or I don't know what. Can't wait for the end of the semester. Well its already week 7. I'm halfway through. Working on 3 very nice design subjects this semester. 3D Visualization, Multimedia Interface, and Motion Graphic. These subjects have made me realized how useful were my skills,knowledge and experience gained of the semesters. :D Guess I'd be going back around September. Life is as dull as every. But its the same. and its also starting to feel like Johor Bahru except without the homework ;) 

Not been active in initial D lately. Well, except maybe in events. but I've decided I want to save all I can to enjoy once I'm back home in Johor Bahru :D I heard the people back there at Jusco Indah have gotten pretty good. I'd love to race with them when I get back.

lol. yup. :D

It is starting to get tiring though. Travelling everyday. My body is telling my I'm already getting old. But I know what people would say. "Seriously? you're still 19". Well yup I know the difference of how my body behaved when I was in form 5 and now. Pretty different! :/

Shit like this is scaring me and makes me wonder how long I'll live. 

Oh shit.

Well its time to talk about it again. Its suppose to be gone. But Well its still there. Just not moving. Basically, one day I just said "You know what, I think I'm fine with this", and so it ended there. Face it, she's not into me :) Things come and go. Things change. But I'll always drop by just to say hi again.

Yep. There is nothing much to watch this summer.

Well, except that I'm stocking up anime marathons for September sem break. I'm gonna watch Higurashi series, Elfen Lied, and Gosick. Yes I'm pretty late to the party but I could use some good old anime to watch in times like this.

Well that's pretty much it. Installed CS6 btw. Its not much of any help compared to cs5 lol. Alright. See ya later soon again during September!

Holiday in Johor Bahru!

Back in JB, after a long semester 3.. aaah semester 3... it was satisfying.. at the same time.. unsatisfying.. and also regretful.. things were good.. and this were also bad... this semester is a lesson for me not to take my assignments lightly... I for once can't believe how much of an idiot i am until now... not gonna make that happen again... I might try to finish all assignments like someone did in third sem.. :P First of all.. I was really sorry to all my lecturers.. i let them down.. disappointed them.. if i need to punished. i wouldn't mind accepting it.. second... I'd thank all my friends,classmates, and teammates for helping with the group work.. you guys were very good.. where I was... just falling behind... sorry for being a burden... :(

Holiday here is to ease the mind... daily routine here is simple.. you wake up.. you eat.. you do what you want.. evening.. go back home.. eat... chat with friends.. sleep... rinse and repeat..  its as simple as that.. also.. Initial D in Jusco Indah is more dead lately.. hopefully its not me who scared away all of em.. I wish I could start over and re-experience those spine chilling battles... Its really lonely down here.. even with friends.. I miss someone alot.. :(  this place can get very hot.. and get very cold at night.. and very cozy when its raining.. its a place where you could sleep soundly and not care about a thing in the world.. a place to relax and just enjoy yourself.... I take walks here.. listen to music.. go to Jusco play Initial D..  go to my friends house to chill.. There is still more to come.. Not to forget my Flash Animation assignment. I'm not gonna let my lecturer down.... he expects good work and he deserves nothing less than that... hopefully i can achieve what he wants...  

Thats all there is to say here... nothing much.... still enjoying the breeze and the peace here in my place.. but its slowly changing because of the new bus station behind my house and the construction of new houses.... but all and all... its still is.. pretty quiet... nice weather... my home :)