Can't sleep no.2

Can't sleep.. what do? Start pondering on the deep shit in life and start reflecting till you lose yourself lol. Also because I have a mechanical keyboard now with clicky noises when I type, It feels really good... :P 

So what am I gonna talk about today? Weeeellll I had a thought and started thinking.. "Hey! What if I could go back in time and redo my college days". Then obviously I'd make the right choices and play my cards right from the very beginning... even go after that girl again but this time with a different approach. So how would it go? Well it would be like this.

Sem 1. I go to college. I'd definitely train seriously and take a chance to study Basic Drawing seriously and never give up on my trusty old pencil and paper. I'd push my exercises as much potential as I had and obviously made use of all the time I had as a student and most probably still procrastinate but still be able to have fun while meeting the deadlines earlier than expected for amendments. I'd obviously choose my dialogues wisely against classmates in my class.. I'd be friends with Andy no doubt.

Sem 2. I'd try to be friends with the rest and try to show my worth in a group assignment. That way I would be on good terms with everyone. In this sem I would have teamed up with her for the first time and would try to perform better than I did.I would still have to face the hardships of a certain Lecturer B's classes but at least I'd knew what to do. Really, really play around with Photoshop in this semester again. but still use contents for my assignments as I really liked them. And hell yeah I would still go back to JB and establish a name in the records for Initial D again (there goes my money again orz)

Sem 3. Hoo this is the sem where I crashed and burned.. but if everything went fine in previous sems I would have did the same stuck to my routines and meet deadlines and show steady progress in Digital Illustration and most possibly try to score a B+ for it rather than a C -.-. I wouldn't give her chocolates on valentines day because I would know that she's not into me. I would still maintain as a friend and try to know her more. I would still wear my school uniform as I would still feel attached to it and get discounts for taking bus. LOL!

Man I am really talking about her in each sem now am I. Shit. On a side note.. most probably wont play initial D when im in Selangor because I would have chose to go into gunpla instead. Not to mention when I'm back for the sem break I have my alone time,gunpla and Initial D 5.. Shieeet.

Sem 4. This sem was the sem I woke up and push hard. but of course.. as a redo.. I would have done the same.. but try to achieve better than before. Obviously another Lecturer would be a challenge but I would have kept my cool about it.

Sem 5. Aaaahhh another short sem where I would do everything quickly.. This time we went into an abandoned flat for filming... and I would have made a musical instead of a music video... -_-

Sem 6. I would study more on web designs and get into Jquery and parallax scrolling would still be the website I'd like to make. I would have enjoyed all the hangouts together more with my college mates... 

Sem 7. Internship. AAAAAhhh so where would I have gone? Well obviously to another company for web design. most possibly with my college mate.. and then end up learning more about web design.

Sem 8. Final sem yo! I would still use flash because I wouldn't have the time to make a 3d game.

Nothing much to say about the other sems because I've said it earlier - -. I would still be drawing and enjoying my pencil and paper. The money I got from the left over in PTPTN would still be used for my music. ehuheueh. I would still be using Photoshop, Dream weaver, and After Effects as they were the software I personally liked using :). Damn looking back at my assignments only leaves me wondering how the hell I did them.... But think about this Jon. If it wasn't for you well paid job. You wouldn't have got those SHURE earphones, your gaming headsets and mechanical keyboard. Your gunpla and your figure collections.Thats all.. man its pretty late now.. gotta go sleep Zzz.

BACK TO THE OLD WAYS OF JON360!

Can't sleep. So I started blogging instead.

Hi guys, It has been awhile again while I've made another blog post as always. But I just felt like typing and speaking out my mind because I'm really bored (I can't sleep) and stressed out. Also feeling like I'm against a wall and at the end of my line again. 

This time.. again.. I am kind of fed up with "work" or I could say.. my career. It doesn't feel like a career anymore, and reading my previous blog post I said "All I want to be is happy" is a really hard and unclear message in life. You could say that I've started looking at other career paths or even just a job to earn my income as I loosen up abit. But hey, I'm still not that confident in other paths but I don't mind working hard to succeed it just to make sure I don't end up in the same situation again. Having insomnia, worrying every time I go to sleep at night. Trying to enjoy life in every way but still end up feeling frustrated over the little things that don't go right for me. I mean, since I am a guy who likes the little happy things in life. I really get stressed easily when I cant have em. Quitting a career ain't an easy decision. I mean, you have to take into account about your financial, future plans, and also your health. You wouldn't want to be broke, sick and starving at the same time right? I mean that felt like shit and I've went through that before. I just feel really worried to go back to that situation again.. I mean.. hell I made a promise to myself never to starve when I started working and had cash. I had a few ideas even though I think they're utter bullshit. I wanted to join my friend and try out the entrepreneur route but then again, that's shit really hard than what I'm facing. Oh what am I saying.. every path has its own struggles. The other one was also similar as in starting my own business but of course like my friend said, I'd need to have a capital to start one. And lord knows how good the business will be based on how risky or how safe it is. Then again, the previous blog post kinda made me calm down abit and just say. "I'll do anything I want as long as that keeps me happy!" But that's not enough... I'll have to say "I'll do anything I want as long as that keeps me, my family and my friends happy!" I mean. I also wish I could enjoy times with friends and family before its too late. I wouldn't want to regret losing another person and not doing the things I wanted to do. So that's all I wanted to say in this blog post. A pretty boring and random blog post I'd say. But I'll try to sleep peacefully as hard as I can from now own lol.

Pondering upon career paths.

I guess it is sort of true when I choose the road for design, one of the reasons was that I wasn't good at the scientific side of the academics.. but of course.. when all your life you were studying on the science stream.. making a leap to the art stream is a very big decision.. you might experience other people being better than you at basics just because they were an art student from the start.. but of course.. having passion can change ones game.. but how long can you struggle to achieve that dream.. before you'd forget about all the important things around you. Sometimes people say "Hey, its something you like right? So why hate doing it?" Then I'd say "Sometimes, just because you like it.. doesn't mean you'd do it." You should instead ask, what do you like about it? Just because people like football doesn't mean they wanna be a professional footballer, Just because people like photography doesn't mean they want to be a photographer. They tend to be things that we wanna do out of our freetime or pleasure that some people had changed into their career. So what happens then when people picks up something as their passion/career? Well.. for my case.. I'd just wanted to get involved with what I see on screen everyday.. and thats a very vague scope for me.. So I tried narrowing it down by studying into certain fields... from design.. to an animator.. I always liked to draw.. but obviously I didn't have the courage to continue after facing very harsh criticism.. Its like all those hours of practice and work didn't made a single difference in that person's eyes. Hopes crushed, I moved on to another field... Design. Design was actually pretty hard to handle at first.. The basics were hard to apply to your work. Originality always get questioned when you use a certain principle. So at the end of the day, nothing is as original as it is in design lately. Which I got tired of with clients who just don't keep the end of their deal and being treated like a robot. Which leads me to being employed by a company instead for a more stable job of income. I was interested in Post-production but I never had the chance. It felt hard as hell when doing motion graphics and I can see how much time and effort is put into certain visuals, but it always feels as if you know the technical stuff, you'd be able to do it no sweat. after all.. lecturers always told me After Effects was sorta like Photoshop except video, and with that I edited videos with AE as if it was like photoshop... a really time and effort consuming photoshop. On to the next, I went to a certain company to study animation at the same time try to explore and be inspired by it.. and hell of course I was inspired the shit out of animation. But at the end of this line, you'll get tired and deadlines and time constraints just don't let you feel as if your work is play anymore.

Which leads me to the current situation.... "What do you want to do now Jon? Would you want to continue this career? or stop because you can't take it anymore? The answer is not that simple anymore as you get older. Time slips further away from you. Though you're not the one to be complaining... Hell.. You're not even 21 yet.. but of course.. change in general in anyway in your life.. would have a price to pay for it.. You want to get another job? You'd have to be prepared or suffer financial problems. You want to change careers? You'd have to work for that money you need to study for another course you want. You just want to get a job and earn cash up the ranks? You either get stuck at a certain payslip forever or have no better future job options." So you see.. life only has one shot at your careers.. you either keep trying till the end.. or keep on changing and hope you feel satisfied with what you've accomplished. So what do I wanna do? I don't know... I'm not interested at anything anymore at the moment.. you could say I'm very tired and I just want to focus all the stuff that's outside my career. After all.. I've always wanted to have a life that isn't about your career/interests only. As I said before.. life consists of the little things like a cup of cofee on a relaxing evening, or a date with a girl that you've always wanted to go out with. Having a hobby that suffices as enough accomplishment in your life.. because the more you know it.. I'm just that of a simple man. I don't need to be the best designer/animator/artist/gunpla builder in the world... I just want to live life with its little happy things. I don't want to earn up to millions.. not even hundreds.. I'd be happy if I just had savings and EPF each month. I'd be happy if my stomach was full each meal. I'd be happy if my house was small but comfortable. I'd be happy if I am just able to talk to my friends and laugh with them everyday. I'd be happy if I was so free to a point to makeover myself and take care of my hygiene. I'd be happy if there were just this happy little things.. :) So at the end of the whole thing.. What do you want to do Jon? All I could say is.. all I want to be is happy. All I want is for me to go to bed comfortable every night... hahahahah.. Thats all I can say for now..

Life out of college.

Hello there. It's been a hell long of a time every since I've posted. I wanted to make a post as soon as I graduate but I just felt too lazy to do it. But now here it is, an update.

First of all. Let's talk about leaving college and entering the working life for the first time. It was quite an uncomfortable transition but I didn't kill myself over it. I've gotten used to working life and have already forgotten about the college days even though it was only yesterday. Half a year has already passed since I've started working. Days like these seem endless to me... it feels like I have fallen into another abyss. I have a loan to pay and a commitment to hold every month. Yes, the adult life seems very plain and boring to me. No hangouts, no friends, colleagues are kept as colleagues due to trust issues. Games are getting boring, life is getting a lot more on the small side where something simple is enough to satisfy me, yet I still feel restless.

Feels like life has moved on to episode two. Everything is way different than it is during high school building up to now. Family is a lot more important as you grow older. Friends are too. Choose them wisely. It feels sad that I am not sociable enough and sometimes painful to think that I am alone, but I am also conflicted by the fact that I want to have alone time. So I look for stuffs to do alone. (i.e. a Hobby).

Here is a picture of my Hobby.

Life might feel quite meaningless but I also remember that I am pursuing a career, but if this is what I really wanted. I would not have complained in the first place. Truth is, I don't know what I really want. Life isn't just about your dreams. I can only wonder what's in store for me next.  I also might be am a very weak Christian right now as I have not gone to church at all(Probably once in a blue moon). Its very complicated.

Hoping to have a partner to share my life with, but at the same time too stubborn to change my own habit to get one. I've gotten tired of doing anything. I mostly focus on my personal stuffs now rather than people. I  might be turning in to am a very selfish person. 

What lies ahead I think? Well... I hope I have the strength to see through it till the end.

Hello Autumn 2013!

Hello there, its been awhile again since I've updated from during my internship. Lets just say. All is well. It went out okay. Its not the best, but I'm very happy with the experience. No regrets. Though I still haven't finish my final report yet.. SHIT!

Soooo, JB was a nice holiday. I get to hang out with my high school friends more. Plus get to know my junior, Woody; more. Though he didn't ask my name and just wrote 'Sotong' when I went to buy a drink at Starbucks - -. Enjoyed my stay at JB for around 3 days. Felt quite relaxed at places like this that brings back memories that was only 2-4 years behind yet feels so nostalgic. Huh.... normally the word nostalgic is used to relate to something really far back. Oh well. Moving on, met up for the gathering on Saturday lunch. enjoyed Japanese ramen. Soon that I realized, I was already back in Subang living a lifeless life everyday just on the internet while waiting for the new semester to start. 

Ah yes. Animu this fall has some of my favourites, so it ain't that half bad. :). That's all for now. Oh yes. updated music on blog.. enjoy this slow jazz. Peace out!

ITS TIME. FOR INTERNSHIP. >:)

こんにちは! Hello! A short post from me in awhile. This time of the year is when the battles get hard and having absolute resolve and steel determination is what gets me through this semester. It will be the hardest hurdle I'll face ever yet. At the same time. Its gonna be the most exciting adventure of my career life!

Currenty I am an Intern Animator in Les' Copaque Sdn. Bhd. (For those who dont know what company it is, its the company that makes Upin and Ipin and Pada Zaman Dahulu).

Now I know how people don't like to do stuff like this or people say "Doing 3D work like that? Pfft. Thats humiliating."

All I can say to that person is that they are missing out on a lot of stuff and they don't understand how fun it is at this company and how much you'll learn and how good the standard is here. Animation here is tough with tight deadlines. But 3d modeling too is tough with the discipline and how neat your work needs to be compared to animation :).

So there is a fair amount of struggle in each departments, thats all I could say. Apart from work here in the company, its quite a ward and friendly company because everyone here wants to be creative and have fun while working. Learning is a though process. It takes time, effort, and practice to hone your skills and get a better understanding. 

しかあああああああああし！BUUUUUUUUT!

THAT WONT STOP ME FROM MY ADVENTURE UP THE STAIRS IN MY CAREER!

いくぜ! ONWARD! TOWARDS VICTORY~!

with steel determination. absolute resolve. and fiery passion. >:)

Reality strikes.

Sup..... its been awhile since I posted.... I've just finished my 6th semester and next semester is Industrial Training.. or known as.. Internship. I've found my identity and self-branding in design. I've gotten closer to people I like; and, had all the opportunity I could get with that special someone. Though I've not been taking any of those opportunities... rather.. I just shun them away from me. Today I woke up from a dream that has "TOLD" me so hard... the first thing i did when i open my eyes was shout "F***, F***! , F***KING! F***K!". Yes I was extremely pissed at what my dream told me I could have done while I was that...

The train station that I waited at.

photo taken from here

Could have, Would have, Should have. Its all gone now. Though when another opportunity comes. I'm still not sure if I'll hesitate or I'll make my move. As the older I get.. falling in love with people happens even lesser... and letting it go is even harder...
--REALITY--
 That being said, let me explain to you that timeless Monday night when I was coming back from college done with my assignments and going to retire for the night. I accompanied her on the way back because its on the way home to my place anyway. That was the biggest opportunity I got so far. Just me, and her, sitting together in the train station.. just... waiting... for the train... no one was even on our platform.. it was already 10.30pm that time. So we just talked. Discussed about internship and further more. Train arrived; I just went it and waited for my stop. I felt a bit sad that she didn't join the same coach as me and went to the women's coach instead because it was already late. I felt a bit useless for not making her feeling secure enough and what not... But my stop came first so it was best she wasn't in this coach anyway. I got off, she just texted me goodbye and I texted back..
--DREAM--
So, this is was a rebuild of what could have happened that night in my dream. We were there.. talking..... my dream showed me...
I asked if I could hold her hand. I did. I talked to her seriously about what I really think about her. I wasn't even tensed... I was just relaxed... speaking like it was my last day of my life..  "Ya know.. my friend told me I am a "flower heart"(花心), because... in high school.. 1 moment I liked a girl.. the next moment I liked another, but this time its different... I've been looking at you for around 2 years already, of course there was some moment that some other girl was on my mind, but I came back immediately after that and just totally forgotten about her.. so far.. you're the only girl that's on my mind... I wish you could be my girlfriend.. and I wish to only be you on my mind... I've gotten to know more about you for over these two years.. and I only grew to like you, the more I know you every time"

so fuckin' naive, cheesy and stupid

andddddddd bam. I woke up and had FEELS and RAGE immediately.... sigh...... though I keep telling myself its just a dream.... but my heart thinks its not just a dream...

Livin' in a new place! Livin' in a new room! I finally have a room!

Hey guys, I'm just back after a long inactivity since December and before getting to the main part, I'm just going to update on what happened since I was gone. December was great. I had fun. It started out quite bad at first but then I just got on with in and put it behind me. I enjoyed my time with my bros at the reunion sleepover party and catch up with each other and get to know what we've all be doing currently. This semester break is the last I might have in JB so I took sometime to prepare myself for leaving, well.. for good. For now, I'll not be going back to JB for sometime but maybe when I have the time I'll drive myself back all the way to JB or take a bus down to meet some of my bros. Not all of us are in JB right now. Most of us are in KL but our buddies back in JB and also in UK still will be missed. Though we are on skype everyday, going out and hanging out means a big difference then just chatting on skype daily.

So, I left JB, me and my family did some packing because we're moving to a new place. I now just moved to the next taman in Subang. Life felt a bit easier since for the first time in years I've been properly taken care of financially by my parents. Now I know I've been sort of a bad kid living off my parents money, but I try to give back sometimes even though I'm lazy. I have to thank my parents for giving me my own room and all the stuff along with it, because for once I feel very comfortable at home for once. "Hey I have my own room finally! I can do my stuff in peace". Even my assignments ;).

This is my room with my PC and my own bed for once :)

"So, Yeah... I have my own room... finally... but somehow I don't feel as happy as expected but I'm.. mmmmm... sorta at ease now". Got a new PC for my Multimedia Freelance and for future to come.

Xeon, Sapphire 7850HD 2GB, Asus Board. ;)

I also got another thing new from my parents (thanks to them again). Finally! Ladies and gentlemen I have finally got my FIRST(yes first... orz) touchscreen phone.. and also its of the new age phone.. :D I put my K800i and my brothers Nokia XpressMusic into the archives now..

OWH YEAH!

This sem is abit adventurous.. I have subjects like 3D Animation, Web Design, Design Project Management and Production in Multimedia! So yeah all the heavy works are out this sem and time management is really essential this term.. and yet I still such at pro at procrastinating :/ boy this sucks.

So yeah thats all about it. I'm sorry if I'm being too showing off but there is literally.. nothing to put on here or talk about.. just the small changes in life.. but it means alot to me.. Thats all!

December is here!

 ｷﾀ━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━ !!!!

December is here! 

Its the month of the year where I take a break from my studies and retreat back to my hometown and enjoy myself. Although this holiday is still cut a bit short because my family is prepared to move up into Selangor. This semester was a short sem like every end year in my college. It was rushed, but still we only had 3 subjects and I noticed I'm getting better in workflow. So I'm happy that I'm able to sort my workflow out.

D7AAX is out already but it hasn't reached Malaysia yet.

Gonna practice and research some videos in D5 for this sem break's D5 campaign. Feels abit boring now. I wished Jusco had the new D7AAX so I could also try it out. But it is very boring indeed. I've stored up "some" anime and games this holiday season just to keep myself occupied.

Well, thats it for this short sem.. it just came and went just like that. Next semester's gotta be even more tougher. I still can't do much on my own. Here is a link to my portfolio website. This is my final assignment for E-Publishing that shows all the previous works too. I'm a Multimedia Design Student. :)

Credit goes to this my friend who helped me find a new free music player. Check out his blog if you want. 

Hope you enjoy your December Holidays! Cheers!

Fed up

Ever had that moment where you're just sick and tired of the things that never change around you? I do.
I'm sick and tired of people giving excuses and saying that they'll make up for it. Even though they said that, they don't turn over a new leaf. They never do. Ever had people that just don't understand your situation? Well I guess a lot of us have. Before anyone is going to say "don't complain, other people have it worse", I say that everyone deserves a fair chance. Everyone deserves to be understood. Even you too, the person who think's this is nothing compared to the other people who had suffered more. You need to be understood. Well since that's said. I understand you. I know how you feel. :)

Moving on, this semester is a little unusual and creepy.. as if its too normal.. but I already know the time-frame is twice as short as a regular one. "Yes, this is a short sem! What am I doing sitting around?" which was what I said but our lecturer's not giving us any big assignments or exercises quick enough for us to pick up the pace with the amount of days we have left... which makes me worry. But there is nothing I can do. So why worry? I'll just solve it when it steps in front of me.. like I've always had.. but this time.. I know what to do.

Aaaah, Kara No Kyoukai feel is coming back.

Its that time of the year again.. its already October soon it'll be November and my semester will end.. Don't know why but whenever its December, KnK comes up again in my head.. talking about the cold outside at night under the night sky... of course.. in Johor Bahru.. Going to plan a meeting again this end of this year during December.. something like a "reunion" with the bros. The end of this year sure is coming fast. only 7 more weeks to go.

Updated my mixpod music with some of my favourite instrumental pieces.

Thats all for today ladies and gentlemen! :D

My Initial D Adventure while growing up!

TL;DR : From a young local racer to a regional racer ( this is kinda like a blog story so ignore if you want).
Initial D made me enjoy arcade games and have experience that I can't get with normal computer games. and. EUROBEAT. Also my unconditional love for the Trueno 

Well it all started when i was just grade 6 (12 years old)2005 in a backwater town in Malaysia where my mall had D3(Arcade Stage). that time D4 wasn't even out yet. So i went there every weekend.. listening to the pros who'd come and play there and trying to imitate them. I had no internet and no what so ever source to learn D3 from. so I learned all the advanced stuff from the pros there.. and then, the story of me a young kid just beating local rookie driver began.. lol.. so as every other usual initial d arcade player. I have my friends. I wasn't the best around.. I always had someone in my team which was better than me.. and of course.. younger than me.. lol.. imagine a smaller kid than a kid which is better.. damn.. so we had fun.. I traded cards back then.. selling my old cars and buying new ones... so i had a fair amount of experiences with all D3 cars.. lol then the end of grade 6 came.. it was the holidays...my dad awarded me with a ps2 for getting good results that time.. and then I discovered SPECIAL STAGE. That was when I just stayed away from the arcade and practice at home.. surprisingly the game physics of Special Stage(D2) was similar to (D3) so i had a huge performance increase while i was gone. The usual continued, practicing at home and going to the arcade to port my console skills to the wheel.

-somewhere in between 12-15-
I often go to the "big city" of my country where my brother works and stays during the holiday. That was when I watched all stage 1-4 on DVD at home. It was fun and I made my D4 card while staying there. it made me had interest in eurobeat alot.
-end of somewhere between 12-15-

Then I left, when i was form 3(highschool 15 years old) from the a northern backwater place to the south of Malaysia. A less "backwater" place than the north because it was modernizing. So my local mall there had D4. I played D4 without knowing the techniques and all (I can say that D4 was my shittiest gameplay ever)I had no friends here back then when I was a new transfer student. so I normally hang around at home and play D4 on weekends. and then (16 years old) I found no more interest in this. I stopped for nearly 2 years. Since I discovered, yes this is stupid. THE INTERNET. I finally have a PC with internet at home when i was 15 so I spent more of my time on the internet rather than playing Initial D.

-1 year later-
at the end of Form 5 (17 years old)2010,After my final year of highschool with my exams, a week later. While freely strolling around the mall, bored, looking for something to do, I saw D5. I quickly made a card and played a few rounds. (I had alot of cash stocked up in my wallet back then because I was spending on nothing for 2 years while living on the freedom of the internet lol). Then I went home and researched a ton of videos on YouTube about D5.. and then i discovered this forum! although i joined later in 2011.. So while on holiday break for months. I went to the arcade and practice occasionally. My skills were still below average back then. I only hit like 3'16-3'17 on Akina DH Dry instead of 3'08'xxx now. and that I consider as still below average.

YEAR 2011!
I had some months before my results for my exam come out and then I can go off into college. So while waiting. I wasted my days continuing D5 without improvement..  and then off i went to college when results came out.I joined the forum. met alot of players.. asked alot of questions.. gain more knowledge about arcade stage series.. but I didn't know actual racing knowledge could be applied to a game. well with all that racing line and braking point and all that. D6 was awesome to play while living in the big city during college. But I kinda hated it at first.

I came back during december and I trained my ass off in D5 to get into the records. and well.. I succeeded! Not to mention having alot of in-store battles with players there. Thus, the legend of the young old me deceiving players into thinking a kid can't be this good was reborn again..  (no bragging just saying)

2012
and well i still go back to that place i shifted too when i was 15 and still play D5 and continue to train there every holiday. Its a great thing because I get to disappear and come back once in awhile again. So people tend to forget who I am 

Life through semester four.

Living life as normal as it could be. Well at least that's how I think I should live. Living through every week of this sem with the same schedule. Also there is bound to be 1 sleepless night or 2 every week. and its becoming normal.. well its due to me treating my assignments as last minute work. Stupid me.

Yep. that's kinda how life is at the moment. Not to mention eating burger for lunch everyday.
God knows whats going to happen to my kidneys or liver or I don't know what. Can't wait for the end of the semester. Well its already week 7. I'm halfway through. Working on 3 very nice design subjects this semester. 3D Visualization, Multimedia Interface, and Motion Graphic. These subjects have made me realized how useful were my skills,knowledge and experience gained of the semesters. :D Guess I'd be going back around September. Life is as dull as every. But its the same. and its also starting to feel like Johor Bahru except without the homework ;) 

Not been active in initial D lately. Well, except maybe in events. but I've decided I want to save all I can to enjoy once I'm back home in Johor Bahru :D I heard the people back there at Jusco Indah have gotten pretty good. I'd love to race with them when I get back.

lol. yup. :D

It is starting to get tiring though. Travelling everyday. My body is telling my I'm already getting old. But I know what people would say. "Seriously? you're still 19". Well yup I know the difference of how my body behaved when I was in form 5 and now. Pretty different! :/

Shit like this is scaring me and makes me wonder how long I'll live. 

Oh shit.

Well its time to talk about it again. Its suppose to be gone. But Well its still there. Just not moving. Basically, one day I just said "You know what, I think I'm fine with this", and so it ended there. Face it, she's not into me :) Things come and go. Things change. But I'll always drop by just to say hi again.

Yep. There is nothing much to watch this summer.

Well, except that I'm stocking up anime marathons for September sem break. I'm gonna watch Higurashi series, Elfen Lied, and Gosick. Yes I'm pretty late to the party but I could use some good old anime to watch in times like this.

Well that's pretty much it. Installed CS6 btw. Its not much of any help compared to cs5 lol. Alright. See ya later soon again during September!

Holiday in Johor Bahru!

Back in JB, after a long semester 3.. aaah semester 3... it was satisfying.. at the same time.. unsatisfying.. and also regretful.. things were good.. and this were also bad... this semester is a lesson for me not to take my assignments lightly... I for once can't believe how much of an idiot i am until now... not gonna make that happen again... I might try to finish all assignments like someone did in third sem.. :P First of all.. I was really sorry to all my lecturers.. i let them down.. disappointed them.. if i need to punished. i wouldn't mind accepting it.. second... I'd thank all my friends,classmates, and teammates for helping with the group work.. you guys were very good.. where I was... just falling behind... sorry for being a burden... :(

Holiday here is to ease the mind... daily routine here is simple.. you wake up.. you eat.. you do what you want.. evening.. go back home.. eat... chat with friends.. sleep... rinse and repeat..  its as simple as that.. also.. Initial D in Jusco Indah is more dead lately.. hopefully its not me who scared away all of em.. I wish I could start over and re-experience those spine chilling battles... Its really lonely down here.. even with friends.. I miss someone alot.. :(  this place can get very hot.. and get very cold at night.. and very cozy when its raining.. its a place where you could sleep soundly and not care about a thing in the world.. a place to relax and just enjoy yourself.... I take walks here.. listen to music.. go to Jusco play Initial D..  go to my friends house to chill.. There is still more to come.. Not to forget my Flash Animation assignment. I'm not gonna let my lecturer down.... he expects good work and he deserves nothing less than that... hopefully i can achieve what he wants...  

Thats all there is to say here... nothing much.... still enjoying the breeze and the peace here in my place.. but its slowly changing because of the new bus station behind my house and the construction of new houses.... but all and all... its still is.. pretty quiet... nice weather... my home :)

In the heat. Hanging on till its no more.

Its that time of the semester again... where the tension is at its highest. Your thoughts are all about your assignments. Well I can say that I for one accepted the fact that I couldn't finish everything this semester... one thing has to fail.. and its going to hurt a lot. But there is just that one part of me still hoping.. and fighting to hang on... because I want to finish this semester with accomplishment, and no accomplishment comes without a reward.. yep... I always look forward to the end of each semester because I can head back to JB.. those places were the best. So that's what I'm fighting for.

Even when I've calculated the amount of time needed to finish is already long out of range and struggling is useless. There's still a side of me.. which has hope.. well its not bad to have hopes even when everything doesn't seem its going to work out. That's because the only thing we can do is "HOPE" itself. It also, of course... makes us human. That we'd want to see things happen the way we want it.

So. I ain't giving up yet.

Here's a song to motivate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V7aUT13qtM

J360! Fight! ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH!
DO THE IMPOSSIBLE, SEE THE INVISIBLE.. ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH!
TOUCH THE UNTOUCHABLE, BREAK THE UNBREAKABLE
ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH!

Interests, Hobbies, Ideals&Dreams.

Well. Today. I will be talking about a few interests, hobbies, and ideals of mine.

First of all, my interests. I have interests like, anime, japanese pop culture, japanese music, Initial D. Many japanese oriented interests, but I also have some other western influenced interests like, photography, writing (diary or blogging but I am considering buying a diary for m
e since I wanna try something, writer). Learning Japanese too! maybe writing in japanese xD

Next, My hobbies. Hobbies are a great thing to spend your time but it depends on the kind of hobbies you have. My hobbies are, surfing the web, playing video games, playing VISUAL NOVELS (I am quite the GOD OF CONQUEST dude in visual novels lol), skyping with friends, and lastly walking around places (jalan-jalan, makan angin) with music in my ears. I go to JB Jusco Indah playing Initial D AS5 with chinese dudes. Those days were the best. The taste of youth at its best. High spirited. being competitive. Just like the young kids we were during childhood

INITIAL D!

Ideals&Dreams. Oh shit. Now this is gonna be a long one. Trust me. Ideals... everyone has em.. not every human being have the same ideal but its can be as great as the other or even not as good as the other. But at the end of the day, everyone has their own measuring scale. Happiness means differently to everyone. I have alot of dreams, Playing the piano like a master. Being on stage playing From Y to Y - Hastune Miku. Have an audience or not, I don't care. I just wanna play on the stage. Now thats just all for self-satisfaction and my interest and obsession for vocaloid, hatsune miku, the piano, and being happy.

The other BIG DREAM is... Live in Japan!

Oh Japan! You might not be the best. But still you are the place to be for me. Just living in Hokkaido, Sapporo. Having a small house rented or apartment. Then having a well payed job. That's enough for me. But, the is a fight for me that I want to carry on. The fight for A position in any of these japanese studios. JC Staff, KEY, TBS, TYPE-MOON, SHAFT, Production I.G. and wish to get more opportunities to create great Japanese animations. Yep. Production Houses or some sort.. I need a clearer view. My aim is still not accurate enough. But at least I know what I wanna do.. seriously.. I believe it will just hit me one day. The final answer to my journey ;D Thats all for now

J360! ファイト!

Something I didn't thought I'd be interested in.

Now here is something most of the people who know me wont expect me to be interested in. 'PHOTOGRAPHY'. Yep, you read it. Photography. I took up photography in my first semester in Diploma for Multimedia Design at Saito College. Well, Saito College isn't what I expected it to be when I visited it for the first time. But the people here are fine with me, I can never asked for a college with better people than these from my experience. Okay back to topic. At first, when I saw the subject photography. I thought I'm not gonna really like it that much apart from all the fancy cameras and learning how to use it well. But I soon discovered the fun about Photography. Well what is it? I'll tell you. ADVENTURE! TRAVEL! ONE-IN-A-LIFETIME SHOTS! Yes, these are what made me appreciate photography as a whole and enjoyed learning it. Let me show you my adventure of what I saw and captured. Through my lens. ;D

Now this is at SURIA KLCC we had alot of adventures indeed. Oh look here is our group shot of us 8D (not taken by me though)

This is how I found adventure.. starting from KLCC. It was on Friday when I only had 2 hours of sleep, I woke up in the morning and went for Drawing Class. It was tiring. At 1pm, Overhearing my Photography lecturer, he said other class is going to take photos at the THEAN HOU Temple. So i took this oppurtunity to go for double class, going to the temple for the afternoon and then going to KLCC at evening to night for the shots.

Now this is at THEAN HOU Temple. Hot and tiring for the afternoon. I rested around 5pm and our lecturer sorta 'belanja' us drinks. Coke! awww yeah!

So after that I went to LRT station.. travelled to KLCC.. had a small snack dinner in KFC.. bla bla bla took some night shots and then we took our group picuter as I had shown above and went home. Aaahh Home at 11pm, my eyes were tired. Feet weary from walking all day and leaning around various positions to get the right shot. But I got alot of awesome pictures, and I was satisfied. That is how I saw adventure through my eyes. You go out and do it and come back and feel tired and satisfied with what you did.

Also. Some might call this a crush, some calls this puppy love ( is it the same o_O?) as an amateur photographer. She caught my lens. That moment was unforgettable. The moment I looked upon her. I knew I couldn't ignore my feelings.

-PICTURE REMOVED-

I ought to say this but, I believe my heart is hungry for a thing that wont happen. I mean, my future and her future is different. Thus I don't think we'd be staying together forever. But its still driving me nuts at the same time.. That's all for now. I bet this is the first most interesting post I made so far in my blog xD hahaha.

J360BLOG

Back with a short post

I'm back to my blog again... but with just a short post.. alot of things changed since I left.

Troubled Times

In Troubled times..... I keep getting frustrated.. I can't take it no more... Everything I try to do ends up in a BIG MISTAKE . I seriously can't take it anymore.... why is this happening to me.. Why do I keep failing to do simple stuff..... so I even tried to turn to GOD for help... and yet it still isn't enough.. there are still alot more problems to solve.... I keep making mistakes that I lost my self-confidence and because... BECAUSE I was frustrated.. I end up getting angry and then I make even more mistake..... and no one understands me because of how many screwed up things I had done.. ''God, what is going on?'' what is happening? everything is so wrong.. I wan't to make things right...

Ruby Gloom... No more...

Yes... it seems I have finally grown out of this stage.... I used to love ruby gloom alot... thinking it was a good think and a helpful thing...... fortunately.. it is... I feel different now.... I feel changed... as if RuBy Gloom isn't something anymore... I don't feel sad for this.. or any of it.. its just a part I'm going through life.... What I'm waiting for is the BIG moment of my life... and only GOD knows what it is.... so I have unsubscribed.. removed.. and deleted.. my connections from ruby gloom community... Come to think of IT, what should I do know after this stage... probably.. and most obviously.. SPM is my concern... but yet my mind feels unsure if it is my concern... there is a part of me that thinks of something else.... and so my adventure through life continues....

Coming Near the End of the Line .

End of the line it is becoming... I have no idea what to do next... It seems the people I hoped for Shut the doors and left me out in the cold... Who knows... My test is over.. holiday is here... yet I'm still sitting out in the cold.. all alone... No one understands me... Its like I'm moving through a thorn bush blindfolded and open wounds.... stab my open wounds.. hurting more painful.. But the thought of killing oneself is not to be done or to be practiced.. No route of escape.. No exit.. I am forever trapped here.... END OF THE LINE IT IS...